Monday, May 9, 2011

Monday is red...

I didn't realize the fundamental way I thought was different until I was nearly thirty years old. For as long as I can remember, I have perceived letters in color, music in color, and days of the week in color. Months have genders, colors, and a very specific place in my mind's spacial plane (January is 1pm in my mind's clock, October is closer to 9pm). I assumed that since 12 months=12 hours that everyone saw their calendar like this. Days of the week are trickier, but they fall linearly, somewhat circularly, in my mind as well. While I've always known that Wednesday is yellow, J is purple, New Hampshire is orange, and 8 is female, I didn't realize that not everyone knew these things too. And while I assumed that everyone likely had their own special little associations (hey, maybe J is red to you, but the thought makes me uneasy, lol), it never occurred to me that they could have no associations at all. And I definitely didn't think of my perceptions as a neurological disorder. But that is kind of what it is. Synesthesia.The word is Greek (brown) and it means "together" (orange)- synesthetes, or synnies, literally have wires crossed in their brain, and it likely happened in the womb, as the brain was forming- it's also speculated that there's a genetic component. What is known for sure is that those of us that have it have different brain functions, which is apparent on a scan. They say that this condition is both a blessing and a curse, that synesthetes are usually very creative and have wonderful memorization skills, but that they can have a hard time functioning in many jobs (I lucked out currently; choreographer is one of the best jobs a synnie can have).

I can't remember how I discovered this condition, or that it had a name. I'm not sure what I was googling late that night to come across it, but the discovery rocked my world. Having really given zero (white) thought at all to this phenomena, I think I'd buried the thought in the back of my brain that this was all a memorization thing- the state/color associations came from an interactive puzzle I had as a kid, the letter/color ones from a poster in my first grade classroom, and so on. But now I know that's not true- and while I've looked and looked for a picture of that same puzzle from my youth that has the states the way I see them, I have yet to find it- they're always different.

Some synnies struggle with this condition more than others. I don't walk around hallucinating; my experience isn't like that of an LSD trip, but maybe that's because I'm an associater more than visualizer- words on a page don't turn the colors I identify them with. I don't see the word cortex as cauliflower blue when I look at it, but that's what it is to me. Other synnies who visualize may have more problems, and I don't mean to make light of that- synesthesia is more prevalent in autistic people, and for some, it truly can disrupt normal functioning. The only real issue I have, and it's a very minor one, is that I struggle with seeing dancers and twirlers in costume colors that don't "match" the color I associate with their piece of music. I still picture some of my current groups in different colors when I visualize their routines, even though I know exactly what their costumes look like. I immediately know what colors I want for my costumes when I pick music and choreograph pieces, and if it doesn't work out that way for whatever reason, I don't feel as if a piece is ever "complete." Another small issue is that I can't bear to listen to some instrumental music, no matter how beautiful, because the chords are so black or blue to me that it makes me very sad. I am in no way embarrassed of how my brain is wired though, I think it has actually helped me in educational and creative pursuits.

Are any of my Facebook friends synesthetic? Statistics vary from 1% to over 15% of the population having this condition. I know the reaction when I asked my husband and a few friends about it was, well, incredulity.The conversations always went a little like this-

Me: What color is Kentucky?

Nate: What?

Me: When you picture Kentucky, what color is it?

Nate: Ummm....UK is Blue.

Me: I know, but that's not what I'm asking. Is Kentucky blue to you? What color is Thursday?

Nate: Stop talking crazy, I'm trying to read comics.

I think that was the real light bulb moment for me, that not everyone sees/hears/and to a lesser degree, smells and tastes things the way I do (my mother DOES, however; her graphemes are different than mine).

Do any of you?

No comments: