"It smells like Page side" or Phish is back, with a vengeance!

My perspective is a little different from that of the typical jaded old school Phish fan's, because I was never jaded OR old school- my first show was 2.15.03, post-hiatus. While I've heard all the tapes that convey the tightness of '93 Phish or the funkiness of '97, tapes can't convey the raw energy, can't replace actually being there. I was happy to get on the train at all, even if I was 22 the first time I "got it", which is on the older side for a phan. I was at a dark point in my life at that time. I was somewhere I shouldn't have been, with kids who were still in high school, doing things I shouldn't have been doing, but it was there that I first heard the song "Piper"- the studio version nonetheless. It was the most beautiful song I'd ever heard and the fast-paced freneticism at the end hooked me. I got the band's name (surprised that it was 'Phish', the same band an ex had tried to turn me on to in '95 against adamant protestations) and googled them the next day. I learned how to get live recordings and focused all of my time and energy on hearing as many Phish songs, and then full shows, as I could. A few months later, the band announced they were ending their touring hiatus, and I knew I'd be there. I procured my tickets for the Vegas '03 shows, and the Cincy shows later that month, and the rest is history. And while looking back, I know see that my first four shows were less than stellar musically, I was still hooked, and immediately cast aside anything that interfered with me seeing Phish. It is unlike any other concert experience ever- and while I enjoy seeing shows in lots of different "places", I truly believe that people who claim to love this band, yet have to be under the influence of substances to enjoy a show, are in questionable possession of a soul.

After seeing 28 shows in 2003 and 2004, my heart was broken when I knew Phish were done. Coventry, for all of the horror stories, will not be forever etched in my mind as a failure. I had a good experience that weekend, a bittersweet one. Granted, I wasn't one of the people hiking 20 miles up the freeway with all of my camping gear on my back- we slid right into the grounds, despite the mud- but I still look back fondly on that weekend because I did realize, whether or not that I wanted to admit it, that it was time for the end to come. I remember the awful playing, the Trey-rambling, the re-started Curtain With, but more than those things, I remember standing there staring at the stage for what felt like hours after they were done playing, tears streaming down my face, just knowing that was the last time I'd ever get to feel that feeling again- that indescribably beautiful feeling. I never imagined that 4.5 years later, I'd be standing in the Hampton Coliseum, tears streaming down my face, just knowing that that feeling never really went away. It was "relocated, not retired."

Last weekend was amazing. There are really no words. The band sent a message opening up with a well-played Fluffhead- we all know that message by now. They played clean, they played well. I can't say that they played like they did in '94 or '96 or '98 because I wasn't there then, but I heard my husband say it a few times. This is Phish 3.0, a Phish not of pre-hiatus, and certainly not of post-hiatus. It's a new era, an era where both the fans and the band are older and wiser. The dirtiness (in mind, not body) that I saw pervade the lot scene post-hiatus simply didn't appear to be there last weekend. Most of the fans seemed to be there for the music, and we got treated to some great music. I got the impression that folks who'd been chasing the dragon the past seven years got to slow down and relax for a minute, and even if Phish 3.0 can never parallel their first time, it can come close. The boys had practiced- it didn't look like a job to them, it looked like fun again. It felt like fun.

On a personal note, it was awesome to look over at Nate during a great moment, say, recognizing the opening notes of Fluffhead (hard to do over the sounds of 13,000 people getting their minds blown), the ethereal beauty of the Divided Sky, that tight Twist>2001 seague or the dirty keytar-ization of a funky Frankenstein and just smile, knowing he felt exactly like I did. We met in 2005, so we never got to share this thing that was such a huge part of both of our lives. We never thought we'd get to. There were actual gaps in time during their first set on Friday night where I had to remind myself that it wasn't a dream, I was really at a Phish show. It was easy to see that I was not the only one pinching myself. The boys are back- I'm holding my breath until June.