I hope this happens once again.

It's been a little over four years since I last saw Phish play. Those of you who know me well know that following that band was a huge part of my life for a while. I came into the game late, not hearing my first note until I was 23, in 2002. From that point on, I was hooked. When Phish came out of hiatus in 2003, I got the chance to see them perform 28 times, in places like Vermont, Maine, Las Vegas, Brooklyn, Miami, up and down the east coast, and in venues closer to home. I paid a ridiculous amount of money for a few of those tickets, when tickets were difficult to be had, because everyone knew the band would soon be hanging up their hats and we all wanted in on the pie. I cried the first time the boys stepped on stage in front of me, the day they announced they were breaking up, the night they played their final gig, and many times in between. I watched firsthand as thousands of people abandoned their cars on a highway in Vermont, and trekked through the mud with their possessions on their backs in hope they'd get into Coventry to see those final "doomed" shows. My only regret is that I didn't get the chance to see them play much sooner, in their heyday of the mid 90's.

If you don't know Phish and don't love Phish, spending tens of thousands of dollars and weeks and months at a time to see a band play might seem outrageous. But if you know, if you've been there, you understand that Phish is not just a band, and the music is not just notes on a page. I'm not going to say something sappy like the music makes your soul take flight or that a being a part of a show is my idea of an earthly heaven, though both of those things are true. I met many friends through the band, and realized that at a show, there are very few strangers. We all become friends. The feeling of the lights going down, and hearing Trey, Mike, Fishman, and Page break into those first beautiful notes of the night is nothing I can even describe with words. Those are truly the best memories of my life, right up there with my wedding and college graduation days. They're the moments you will NEVER forget, and it feels like an addiction trying to recapture them. You chase the dragon continually hoping for more of those brief moments of utter physical, emotional, and musical bliss.

We all found out last week that Phish is coming back to play 3 shows next March. Of the 75+ shows that my husband and I have gotten to see, we've never seen one together, and we thought we would never get the chance. But I'll be there in Hampton, Virginia, crying and laughing and thanking God that I get to "feel the feeling I forgot" one more time.

I can't wait.